Это песня о самом красивом городе в мире. Москва!

I know it's ironic that I introduce my blog about Moscow with lyrics by a German band (Rammstein), but it sums up my feelings nicely (but the lyrics are a bit racey sometimes). My class trip to Moscow actually happened on the first week in June, with a brief stop in Tula. We rode the overnight train to Tula which featured a weapons museum, a shortbread (called pryanik) museum, and a tour of Leo Tolstoy's estate, Yasnaya Polyana (in Russian it means "Clear Meadow or Field". It was beautiful and the mosquitos thrived there. I saw Tolstoy's grave there, although he actually died in a train station (how poetic). I could see how such a location could be inspiring. I even saw his collection of books which included a Book of Mormom (I have a picture of it). We then proceeded to Moscow by bus. The city was very large, but Russians are much better than Americans at housing people efficiently in a small area. We stayed at the Hotel Altai, which was conveniently located about a block from a metro stop. Saturday night we went for a stroll in downtown Moscow. We saw Red Square at night and found a beautiful garden with a pond that had fountains of fairy tale stories in it. We saw St. Basil's cathedral, stood in the very center of Moscow and threw pennies (actually I think it was kopecks) into the air for good luck (there were poor people collecting the money as it fell). The next day was Sunday. We went to church at a small branch in central Moscow. Me being the sly and flirtatious person that I am (ha!) I walked right up to a boy about my age and asked him where Sunday School was. Andrei didn't know so he asked his friend, Volod who pointed us in the right direction. After Sunday School Andrei asked if I'd like to see some of the sights of Moscow with him after church. At that point I became very excited at the prospect of being given a tour of Moscow by a real Russian. I also realized that I didn't know this guy at all so I asked if my friend Laura from my group could come along. Don't ask me what two girls in dresses were going to do against what turned out to be 3 Russian men, but I was willing to sacrifice my safety for the sake of education. We went to the Metro then got off at the Park Pobedi (or Victory Park). It was an entire park that served as a WWII memorial. There were fountains (we waded in them), flowers, and a huge statue. Andrei asked me some weird questions on the way to the park like if I drink vodka or smoke. I thought these were odd questions coming from a member of the church but I obliged him. Then I found out that Andrei actually wasn't a member of the church. In fact this was his first sunday at church! He asked if I wanted an ice cream (which I ate every day in Russia except for Sundays) and I told him I didn't got shopping on Sundays (This is back when I thought he was a member of the church). He told me that he wasn't a member of the church so it wasn't bad for him to go shopping on Sundays and he bought us all ice creams. It was the only time I ever ate Nestles ice cream in Russia (that's like going to Chinatown and eating a hamburger at McDonalds). Andrei seemed intent on getting us Americans the best photo opportunities possible so he spent a good deal of his time finding good shots for us with him always in the middle (Oleg and Volod took turns taking the pictures). He had a great idea to get us up close and personal with the enormous statue in front of the war museum featuring a man on a horse that was trampling a snake. Apparently it was illegal to get so close to the statue because a policeman came out of a door off to the side of the statue and told us to come with him. He took us to wait just outside his office and took Oleg in for questioning. Andrei and Volod told us to pretend we didn't speak any Russian because then we could claim we didn't know we were doing anything wrong. (Did THEY know we were doing something wrong??) I was afraid we'd have to get the American Embassy involved and worse yet! our chaperone, Sergei!! At the same time a small part of me wanted to go to prison (just for an hour or so while Sergei and the Embassy sorted everything out for us) because it would make such a great story for all the folks back home (although I was a bit disheartened when I realized there probably wouldn't be very many photo opportunities allowed (or cameras at all for that matter)). Next the officer questioned Andrei. After Andrei came out he said we were free to leave. I asked him how he had managed to get us off the hook and he told us it had cost him 500 roubles. A bribe! Ah yes, I had forgotten the corruption of the police force in Russia! I paid Andrei 100 roubles back (less than 5 bucks) and thanked him several times. Andrei continued his personally guided tour of Park Pobedi. He saw a driver and a limosine and thought it would be great fun to show us the inside of the limosine. The driver agreed, amused. We also climbed on some old tanks that were in the park for decoration and apparently for kids to climb on. We climbed on church skirts and all even though we were the only people over the age of 8 on the tanks for a picture. Laura and I even made it back to our hotel in time for dinner, along with a phone number for Andrei and Volod to call them on Tuesday when we had free time again. We went to all kinds of museums, including Red Square with Russia's biggest cannon (which didn't work), Russia's biggest bell (which also didn't work), the cathedral in which several tsars had been coronated and the church they had attended for weekly services (with the exception of Ivan the terrible who had been divorced one too many times for him to be allowed to attend services and who had to watch from a balcony), and a museum with more gold than some small countries owned (or so it seemed). I also got a glimpse and a picture of several Fabrigee eggs. We saw the Pushkin museum, the Tretyakov art gallery, and ate in all kinds of interesting restaurants containing odd foods (stay AWAY from xolodyets, which is like unflavored jello with meat inside!). We even saw Lenin's "body" which looked a little waxy, didn't smell at all, and hadn't decayed since 1924 when he died. That was especially creepy since it was so dark, I had to go through a metal detector to get inside, and there were several guards lurking (rather standing at attention) in the dark corners but for all the people in there it was totally silent. If I close my eyes and think about it I can still see the image of Lenin perfectly engraved on my mind. For all those museums the thing I remember most is being with Andrei and Volod. Tuesday Laura and I called Andrei and he took us to Volod's apartment. We didn't have much time, but Wednesday we had more time and Andrei met us at a metro stop and took us to see his apartment. On the way we stopped at a grocery store where Andrei bought some carrots, some bread, and some eggs. He made us dinner of carrots, bread, and omlettes. He shares the apartment (2 bedroom, 1 bath) with 6 other people. A family of 4 sleeps in the living room. The kitchen barely fit me, Laura, and Andrei all at once. His bedroom actually had 2 beds but neither had a mattress. All 3 of us would not fit in his room (because of the beds) all at once so he had to show us one at a time. Andrei was the polar opposite of every Russian I'd met so far. He was happy-go-lucky from wading with us in the fountains to not drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes because it's bad for you to arranging the groceries of the person ahead of him in line at the grocery store according to size. He had next to nothing (he wore the same pair of pants every time we saw him) but he acted like he was the luckiest/happiest guy on earth. His mother called while Laura and I were at his house eating dinner but Andrei asked her to call him back because he was hanging out with Americans right now. Most Russians hated America. In fact most people who heard us speaking English were upset until we told them we were from Australia. Mostly they just don't agree with Bush's policies. Andrei, though, couldn't have been happier to make the acquaintance of two Americans. Thursday we had our last evening together. Andrei thought we'd get a kick out of seeing a baseball team in Russia. We went and watched the University of Moscow baseball team practice. It seemed like any other college team practicing, but Andrei thought it would be fun for us to see something "American". After that we took a long long walk along the Moscow river. Laura tested the pH of the water with some pH strips her friend had given her. It was pretty acidic. We met a fisherman. He spoke Russian to me then said to himself (in Russian) "she doesn't understand anyway" to which I responded (again in Russian) "I understand quite well". He tried to engage me in a political debate, but Andrei thought it best to move on before I got too friendly with our new fisherman friend. Laura had to use the restroom, not something easily found on the waterfront. Andrei had a brilliant idea though and proceeded to ask a man with a fishing boat if Laura could use the restroom on the boat. The man said it would cost 5 roubles. Then Andrei haggled and talked him down to free. Then after Laura had used the restroom, Andrei went. Not because he had to go; just because he'd never used the bathroom on a boat before. We stopped at a McDonalds and I attemped to throw away my own garbage and put my tray away which received laughter from Andrei and Volod. Apparently in Russia McDonalds hires people to do that for the customers. I didn't care - I bussed my own table anyway. I noticed Volod trying to talk to Laura alone. Laura told me later that Volod had tried to hold her hand but Laura kept her hands firmly in her pockets. Volod asked her if it was because of "shiny" (We think he meant "shyness"). He also winked at her on the escalator down to the metro. According to Kurt, a guy in our group who served a mission in Russia, when a guy winks at you it means "hey baby". It turns out Volod had a crush on Laura. After our return to the states, he actually proposed marriage! He quoted a Pushkin poem to her as well (which is like an American quoting Shakespeare). Volod took Laura and I to a kind of amusement park where Laura finally let him hold her hand. It was probably a misleading idea, but it was so terrible poetic and romantic to think of a trist in Moscow that I actually encouraged it. Volod bought us ice cream cones at McDonalds and proceeded to eat the entire thing without using his tongue to lick it (but using a lot of napkins to wipe off all the ice cream that got on his lips). When we asked him why he was eating ice cream that way he said using his tongue was "too sexy". That was our last day with Andrei and Volod. Laura and I looked into train tickets back to Moscow but it never worked out. It was a week of rebellion, of education, of agony (all those muesums made my feet and back ache from standing all day) and ecstacy (all the romance and intrigue). In short "This is a song about the most beautiful city in the world. Moscow."